Sustainable Peace Conference workshop preview: “The importance of “Yes, and…” in sustainable peace” by Adam Jacobs

The importance of “Yes, and…” in sustainable peace

By Adam Jacobs, Executive Director of Kids Creative

“Yes, and…” is a basic tenant of improv acting.  When an improviser hears a fellow actor present an idea, they must accept that idea and continue the scene, before adding on to the original idea with something of their own.  “Yes, and…” allows the story on stage to evolve, even if there is an initial disagreement with the original idea presented.  There is an understanding that instead of dwelling on past ideas, they must focus on working together to make the scene strong.  Improv acting is successful because the energy is palpably positive.  At its most successful, the people both on stage and in the audience sense a spark of excitement that is only possible from pure, unedited, unfettered creativity.

As a co-founder and Executive Director of Kids Creative and lifelong student of peace education, “Yes, and…” is a main rule of how I live my life and how we have established Kids Creative as a peace education organization.  We work with children ages 4-14 and take the concept ““Yes, and…” to the next level.  In our summer camps and after school programs, we work with children to create original musicals based on the concept “All Ideas Are Good”.   We find that “Yes, and…” not only has a key place in creating a story but also in our interactions with the children and their interactions with each other.

Peace making also requires the ability to take a step back, to listen and to say “Yes, and…I hear where you’re coming from and this is the direction I think we can take it.”  Violence is often caused when someone feels marginalized without a voice, seemingly with no other options to be heard.  However, sometimes ceasing violence is as simple as a response of yes, I hear you, I acknowledge you, and when you’re ready to listen, here’s what I have to add.

“Yes, and…” is a learned skill that can also be transferred to creating sustainable peace.  It has a valuable place in all conflicts, from simple to intractable, from friends to mortal enemies, but it is most effective in creating a community of peace when it is established as a basic rule of communication from the beginning, as it is in Kids Creative.

While the skill of “Yes, and..” comes more naturally for some people than it does for others, the challenge for everyone is to stop the instinct to say no.  The highly respected conflict management experts Roger Fisher and William Ury, in their book “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In,” encourage a joint effort for negotiating: “ What makes the negotiation a joint search is that, however much you may have prepared various objective criteria, you come to the table with an open mind” (p. 89).  Accepting someone else’s ideas means allowing an outcome that you may not have predicted.  There is a basic trust in improv acting that one’s partners on stage will do the same for your ideas as you do for theirs, say yes.  Similarly, sustainable peace requires a basic common understanding between negotiating parties.

The concept of “Yes, and…” is not simple and requires hard work to implement as a successful tool for developing a peaceful community.  In order to truly pursue positive peace (the absence of violence) at Kids Creative, we follow a few key strategies that, despite being created for children, can be transferred to other community building situations.  Our tactics include:

1. COMMON RULES: There have to be ground rules when creating and/or resolving conflicts.  This means that negotiations need to begin by establishing a set of understandings between the interested parties.  These can be as simple as “One Mic” (when you’re talking I won’t interrupt) or as extensive as the Kids Creative “4 Cornerstones,” which is the first thing all Kids Creative teachers learn before entering the classroom.  The KC 4 Cornerstones focus on physical and emotional safety, acknowledging and encouraging other community members and keeping focus on the creative product, while negotiating conflicts when they do arise.  Common rules are essential for sustainable peace.  At Kids Creative, the more we establish rules for negotiating conflict from the start, the less they are needed.  Simply knowing that “All ideas are good” is an expectation of everyone, all participants feel a part of the community.  Just think what happens if two people are driving cars to an intersection and there are different views of what a red light means.  If I think it means go and you think it means stop, we miss the basic understanding and crash.  In the case of communication,  “Yes, and…” is a helpful tool because even if I don’t agree with what you have to say, I’m willing to work with you to make it something stronger.
2. LISTENING vs. HEARING: “Yes, and…” ensures that you hear what I have to say and are committed to adding to it, improving it and bringing it to the next level.  It may not seem like a good idea at the time but if I don’t agree to hear it out, I may miss out on your next idea, which will change the world.
3. BE CREATIVE: When we come to a roadblock, we have to agree that we will reach a compromise through basic creativity.   The concept may not look perfect at the beginning but through brainstorming, role-play and improv, it could grow into a phenomenal idea that neither of us knew was possible from the start.

Sustainable peace requires creativity, conflict resolution and many other C’s.  In Kids Creative, we have 6 C’s of Peacemaking and a formula of how they work together.  The formula is:

The ultimate goal is Community, hence it being the solution to the equation.  In order to build community, we each must have confidence in ourselves and in our ability to be contributing members of the community, which is why confidence is the first integer.  Second, we must creatively collaborate (creativity + collaboration), meaning we agree to work together through “Yes, and…”  Successful collaboration requires conflict resolution skills, hence this being the dividing factor; conflict resolution opportunities must be available in all of our interactions.  Finally, the entire equation must be multiplied by cookies (our ‘C’ for fun), because in order for community to be built, participants must have fun and want to take part in its activities.

Working with children, creativity and the imagination allows Kids Creative to have a light-hearted approach to sustainable peace but this is the same approach we take with our adult staff, high school apprentices, parents and even Board of Directors.  In each conflict, there are underlying factors that help perpetuate it, but there are also opportunities to say “Yes, and…” to help establish a meaningful connection and approach to resolving the issues.  As professionals in conflict management, it is essential to learn from the basic tenants of improvisation and establish a peaceful community.